I’m torturing myself again, most likely for nothing. You have proven to me that you are kind and trustworthy, I have only shown you a side of selfishness and insecurity. You are still here. But that’s also not enough reason for me to want to stay either. Just because we are both here does not mean we should settle. But maybe it’s not settling? Maybe it’s
You are my biggest karma. You are the bits and pieces of every man I have ever half-heartedly attempted to love, and failed. Except you were made up of the shiniest pieces, and as a result, I was blinded.
What amazes me the most is that I am not left feeling empty. You were kind enough to figure out a way to avoid hurting me. You are not a hurtful person at the least bit, I should not be surprised by now.
I am most upset at myself for allowing myself too deeply into your soul, without your proper permission. I wanted to drown you in my love when all you wanted to do was float on it.
But I will love you just the same. We will always be friends. Just friends always.
Once you honored me with your confidence. Perhaps you have quite forgotten me now. How has it happened that I am writing to you? I don’t know; but I felt an irresistible desire to remind you, just you, of my existence.
i stopped believing
a few lifetimes ago
but i hope
you prove me wrong